Community

Living overseas in an expatriate community has given me a unique glimpse into what the Body of Christ should look like. Most of the people with whom I spend time are here for the same reason: ministry work. We have chosen to leave our home countries, our families and friends, familiar languages, customs and conveniences and take up residence in a place that is foreign and unfamiliar. Because of that, our lives tend to become very tightly woven together. We work together, play together, eat together, worship together, serve together - you name it, and we probably do it together. We become our family - sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and even mothers, fathers and children.

But even beyond all of that, we often take on distinct roles in our community. In the place of ministry - in my case, an international Christian school - there is often a need to step in and perform many different jobs. The music teacher, for instance (that would be me), can also coordinate chapels, lead discipleship, be the local member care representative, be a mentor teacher and help out with a myriad of other activities.

Sometimes those roles become blurred and blended as many people fill a need or take on a burden for a particular ministry. Sometimes, there are simply not enough people to make every program work and so some things are allowed to die or are postponed for a later time. The community is fluid and flexible as people come and leave and as needs arise or fade.

Just as Paul exhorts the Corinthian church to regard themselves as a unit, a body, it is imperative for those of us in overseas ministry to be unified and to work together to accomplish our purpose for being here. We cannot go out and find fifty more people to work with or to take the place of people we do not get along with - they simply are not available. We are forced to cooperate, to practice forgiveness and reconciliation, to resolve conflict and make peace. Unresolved issues eat away at the community as a whole, and there is no escape unless someone leaves the country (even then, deep-rooted problems are often left behind).

I have come to believe that this is actually a very good picture of what the Body should look like, whether it is here in Korea or back in the States. We have lost the sense of community in much of the North American church - but it is alive and well in the church overseas.

Paul reminds us both in Romans and in I Corinthians that we each have been given a gift, that we each have a role and a purpose for where God has placed us. I would urge you to develop those gifts, to discover your role and to faithfully pursue whatever calling God places on you. If any one of us does not fill his or her place, the Body is then not whole - at best it is handicapped. Sometimes that place is in an area we enjoy, a place where we feel we fit well and are fulfilled. Sometimes that place is difficult, working with issues or with people with whom we feel inadequate in dealing.

Paul also urges the Church to find unity, not division. If we focus on the differences, we will not be able to work as a unit, but if we will view our similarities of vision and burdens as most important, we will find ourselves accomplishing God's purposes for His Church. Sometimes, that means working through conflict and personal issues with others in the Body. It takes time and effort to develop relationships that withstand conflict - and even more time and effort to restore relationships that have been damaged. However, if we desire a true representation of the Body and not simply a group of people who agree with us on everything, we will find that the time and effort are worth giving.

My final thought on being in this overseas community is that the work of the Holy Spirit seems so much more real and visible. We could not function as a Body if we did not have the Spirit connecting us to our Head, Jesus Christ. There are too many differences of background, church practices, convictions, vision, etc., for us to fill our specific roles and to be unified without His intervening work in our lives. We also live too closely connected to continue liking each other without Him in our midst! How often I have seen His work left out of the church - relegated to a place of doctrinal head knowledge, but not viewed as living, breathing, necessary reality. How different the Body of Christ might be if we were each vitally connected to our Head through listening to and keeping in step with the Spirit.

The Body is vastly important to the Christian walk. How much more effective the Church would be at accomplishing God's command to go and make disciples and to preach the Gospel if we would learn to function in the community and as the Body of which we were created to be a part.

Speakin' my language

I don't know what it is about cars that makes them so much easier for guys to understand--or maybe I'm just one of those girls who's hopeless when it comes to mechanical discussion--but time after time I have given life to the expression "Women don't understand cars."

My older brother is an auto technician. He's good at it too. So naturally when confronted with the sinking reality of something possibly being wrong with my Mr Knightley Jeep, he is the first person I contact.

How wonderful, you might think, to have a tech when you need him. It is wonderful--when he speaks English.

Not just any English--single woman English. The kind that relies on emulating sound and feel, rather than terms and logic.

Like when my brakes needed to be worked on-- I mentioned something seemed wrong, and his question was something about roters and brakepads, which might as well have been translated into "ABbababababababababdadadadadadadada" in my female brain.

Five minutes into the conversation, faced with naught but blank stares as a reply from me, he changed tactics.

"What kind of noise is it making? How does it feel when you hit the brakes?" He then began to demonstrate the different noises he meant, and the different feels.

Ah, much better. This I could relate to. Our conversation did rather resemble three year-old boys playing cars and making the noises for every action, but he didn't seem to mind, so neither did I.

I did get my Jeep fixed--but not before thanking God for grown brothers who care more for helping their sisters and Mom, than sounding mature at all times.

Seasons

"So have you met anyone yet?"

These - or a similar variation - are familiar words to many singles. I heard them over and over back in college, every time I went home for Christmas or summer. Several years later, as a missionary teacher in South Korea, this phrase continues to haunt me when I return to the States for summer break. It would seem that the primary reason to attend college or to move away or to work overseas is to meet one's future spouse. At least, that is the impression I have after answering this question one more time for the hundredth time.

Then there is another question which I find gives a bit more of a twist inside my soul: "When are you coming back and settling down? Don't you think it's time to get married?"

As if I had control over the fact that I am not yet married and all that is required of me is to move back to the States and settle into a nice, "normal," lifestyle where I can meet some nice, normal boy and do what all nice, normal people do - marry and raise a family.

Now I am most definitely not against getting married and raising a family. I still cling to the hope that one day the Lord will allow me to do just that. But I am learning not to cling too tightly to that hope. There are consequences when it becomes an all-consuming focus - consequences that I have dealt with too many times. I am learning to hold that desire loosely, to stretch my hand out with the hope of marriage resting in its palm and to offer it to the Lord, the Lover of my soul, and to allow Him to fulfill it or deny it as He determines best for today.

I think that the Church as a whole - and I am aware that this is a very generalized statement - has done a disservice to its single members. By focusing so much on the Christian family unit and what a godly marriage looks like, we have somehow come to believe that God intends for all believers to get married and raise a godly family. Certainly, much in the Bible points to the importance of this, and it is true that there is probably much more on marriage and parenting than on singleness in Scripture. It is also true that most people do end up marrying at some point in their lives. I understand why it is considered the norm. I am not debating that at all.

What I am concerned about is the emphasis that is put on marriage and being prepared for marriage and finding the right "one" for the young people in the Church, when that is obviously not God's will for everyone. I have wished that somewhere in my growing up years (I grew up in a godly home, attending a godly church, surrounded by very godly men and women, by the way), someone had had the audacity to suggest that maybe - just maybe - I might not get married. Or even that I just might not get married right away, that there might be a stretch of singleness in my future at some point. Then, after making such a suggestion, I wish that that brave person would have had the foresight to at least offer some insights as to what godly singleness looked like and how I could be preparing myself for the possibility that God might have a call other than marriage on my life. Perhaps then there might not have been so much self-questioning, so much wondering what was wrong with me when all my friends got married and I was left without a man to call husband. Perhaps I might have figured out what contentment in singleness looks like much sooner and not wasted time wishing for what I did not have. Perhaps I would have kept my standards high and not walked into relationships that left deep scars simply because I wanted to be wanted.

I have come to believe that the Lord has seasons laid out for us, and in each season, He has specific purposes for us to accomplish. Singleness is just one of those seasons. For some, it is a short time and then it is gone, not to return for the rest of their lives. For others, it is a period of time that comes after marriage, due to divorce or the death of a spouse. For the rest of us, it is an indeterminate stretch of time that occurs between high school and an unknown future. Sometimes it is ended at a later point in time by marriage and sometimes it lasts an entire lifetime, but to those of us living within that season of singleness, there is no guarantee either way.

So if the Lord has given me this season of singleness, and if He does indeed have a specific purpose to accomplish in this season, where does that leave me? How do I discover the purpose and meaning in being single?

Get to know Him.

Use this season of singleness to develop a single focus: Jesus Christ. Spend time discovering Who He is and what He desires of you. Learn to recognize His voice - what it means to be still and know that He is God. Allow Him to truly be your Lord and Master, your Redeemer, your Maker Who is your Husband. Make the most of this season that has been given to you. Accept it as the gift it is and encourage others in the Church, whether married or single, to view it as such.

I truly believe - because I have experienced this in my own life and seen it in others' lives - that if we could do this one thing, this getting to know Jesus, we would find that singleness would become a season to treasure, a season of fruitfulness and even a season to be desired. When we stop expecting marriage to be the normal course of life and we stop assuming that God has a life-partner out there for us and is just holding out on us right now - and we begin instead to learn what Paul meant about being wholly devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit, we find that He has plenty to keep us busy and content. We find that we have opportunities to serve Him that we could have never dreamed up and that He has filled us too full of life on our own to wonder why we have not "met anyone yet."

For His Glory

Some thoughts from Oswald Chambers that struck me the other day:

"No normal, healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he simply chooses God's will, just as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not. And no saint should ever dare to interfere with the lesson of suffering being taught in another saint's life....

"We are hindered by those who give us their sympathy....

"[Jesus] refused the sympathy of people because in His great wisdom He knew that no one on earth understood His purpose....

"Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of the greatest use. God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be."

How often we attempt to remove the very things that God desires to use to bring glory to Himself through our lives.

How often we offer sympathy to others and try to help them get out of circumstances that God is using to form them into His image in order to reveal His glory in them.

How often we fail to seek His mind on situations and relationships we don't like, fail to ask His purposes when He places us where we don't want to be and fail to look for what He is doing in the very things we avoid, resent or refuse.

How often we look for the easy way rather than choosing His will regardless of the cost.

Dog-gone Blues

Valentines Day is often one of the hardest days for singles--especially women. As if that knowledge wasn't enough, we now have the disconcerting title "Single Awareness Day"-- I suppose because someone thought those who were single weren't "aware" enough already.

Well, take heart my fellow compatriots--we are not alone in our aversion to Single Awareness Day.

I discovered this last February 14th.

I was at home alone in my living room, earnestly praying for a straying friend. For about fifteen minutes there was nothing but silence in my ear, as my head was bowed before the Lord.

But this was not to be for long.

About that time my male German Shepherd, John, commenced to howling like a werewolf on the porch, outside the living room windows. He was all alone, as our female German Shepherd was penned up at that moment to avoid certain little "blessings" which eat enough for ten people and require 2/3 of a day just to take the vet.

He sat there while I was trying to pray.

Crying.

And crying.

And crying.

And crying.

And crying.

In that moment, I discovered a whole new part of "praying without ceasing"--praying when you can't hear yourself think.

I was sitting on the couch, head in my hands, asking God to reach the heart of this girl :

"Oh Lord, please show her You are the true source of confidence---"Hooooooooowwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwllllllllll!!!" "...that true joy is only found in You..." "Hoooooowwwwwwww
wwwwwwlllllllllllllll!!!!" "....and that You love her with an everlasting love..." "Hoooooooowwwww
wwwwwwwwwllllllllllllllllll
Rowowowowow""...Draw her to Yourself".......owowowoowowwww
woowwww!!!!!!!"

Suddenly I found myself yelling inside my head, which, when you think about it,
volume doesn't really make a difference in that particular realm.

"LORD THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND YOUR GRACE,
EVEN WHEN WE TURN AWAY".......Hoooooowww
wwwwww
wwwwwlllllllllllllll!!!!

"I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE YOU ALONE ARE WORTHY".........Hooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllll!!!!

This continued for another five minutes, before my prayers changed into petitions for comfort for the dog.

I suppose one might wonder why I didn't simply relocate to another room--but then again, that would've made sense.

So the next time you find yourself single on Valentines Day, bemoaning your estate--just remember that you are not alone. My dog doesn't like it either.

When God Uses You

"Never be taken by surprise when [God uses] you to change a pattern."

--Frances Roberts

The above is an excerpt from a devotional given to me by my sister (who you'll hear from alot and then some later).

In my Christian walk, I've prayed many times that God would use me to reach and encourage others for Him. That He would open doors for me to serve Him.

And then--He does.

So naturally I move forward, praising Him for this opportunity to be an instrument in His hand, right?

Well, to be honest, my first response, usually, is rather than praising Him for what He's done, I just stand there feeling dumbfounded that.....He.......actually......did......it.

He.....used.....me.

I'm not talking about being humbled that my great God would want to use me--it's always humbling to think that God would use me, a sinner saved by grace, for anything--I'm talking about doubting that He actually will; lacking the faith to believe when I give myself to His service, the doors He opens, even the small ones, are indeed where He wants me to step.

When I pray for God to "take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to Thee" I shouldn't be shocked when He does. He doesn't have to use me--but He wants to; then when people see this small human do anything worthwhile they know it has to be God.

We're still working on the part where my absolute first response when He does open those doors is

"Lord I praise You!"

instead of

"Huh?"

Thankfully, He hasn't given up on me. Which I do praise Him for completely.

New Beginnings

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
~ Psalm 118:24

Yesterday, I was reminded of the truth that each day is a new opportunity to accept from God's hand His will for me. Today is the day He has made, and each situation, each conversation, each inconvenience is another chance to please Him, to honor Him - to live out who I am in Christ.

The trials and failures of yesterday are past, and tomorrow's difficulties and challenges are not yet here; only today belongs to me - but not truly to me, because He has formed it with specific purposes to be accomplished this day. No matter what happens today, He is in control and He has made provision for me to fulfill His design for today: with the new day come new mercies.

I choose to be glad and rejoice in this day. I choose to be content with where He has put me, who He has put in my life, what He has given me to do - I choose to be content with today.